Today is a day unlike any other in recent years. For one, it’s slightly rainy outside (rare in Los Angeles). Second, I’m typing this on my phone while I’m riding on the subway, something I haven’t done in a long time; something I now realize, I’ve sorely missed. Third, I’m going on a day trip today that is all about what I want to do.
See, the thing about becoming a mother (arguably more than a father) that I’m only really beginning to admit to now, more than two years into this role, is that I have given up a lot of things and pretended/forgotten that they mattered. I hear this from other mothers, too. Maybe because you’re so damned happy to have a baby or you’re too damned busy and overwhelmed to remember. And some of those things may have been really important to you and/or integral to who you are. And, actually, it begins before the kid is even born: if you’re carrying the child, the sacrifices (and anxiety) begin the minute you know you’re pregnant.
Maybe not all mothers see them as “sacrifices” per se, but there’s certainly an extended period of “giving up . . ”
For me, in total, I’ve really been looking at 4 ½ years of giving up various things, as I’ve been pregnant off and on since late 2010.
I gave up pretty much all vices as soon as I found out I was pregnant each time (and, to be honest, picked them back up in between each).
I gave up taking the Metro when I finally got to my third trimester partly for fear of getting sick, but also the klutz that I am was scared of falling down the ridiculously steep stairs/escalators at my two regular stations.
I gave up taking trips because of budget restraints and I simply was too preggers to even enjoy walking at times.
I continued to give up the Metro when my daughter was finally born because her daycares weren’t very accessible by public transportation and, admittedly, for fear of her or me getting sick.
When she reached toddler age, I gave up a couple of my freelance jobs and some personal projects because I simply couldn’t find quality time to spend with her, and give my all to the work.
I gave up any nights alone. (I honestly haven’t spent one night apart from my kid since she was born. Not that I’m complaining about this.)
In some ways, I stopped dreaming big dreams and the dreams that took their place were dreams of simply having a clean house and the opportunity to take a long shower.
You get it, parents, I don’t need to tell you this — we stop prioritizing ourselves. But is that a good thing for our kids? Which brings me back to my adventure today: I am currently heading to a vigil in downtown for victims of recent terrorist attacks in France. My husband questioned why it mattered so much to me to go. It’s not like I’ve been politically active in recent years (save two community meetings: one regarding homelessness and another on crime and safety). And I was incredibly defensive to the point I was driven to tears, unexpectedly. “Why now?” he asked.
Because I’m a writer.
Because I work with artists.
Because I’m scared.
Because I’m angry.
Because I want to be with other people who are feeling the way I do instead of living in this self-imposed bubble I have been living in.
Because I want to be part of something bigger than me.
Because I have had three miscarriages and if there were a gathering for people who were sad about them, I’d go to that, too.
Because I’m terribly upset about cancer and injustice and healthy food being too expensive and want to find time to do something about those things, too.
Because I don’t want to feel alone.
Motherhood does feel that way sometimes. Lonely. For as much love as I get from my daughter and joy from caring for her, I often get confused about who I am along the way, and that’s where the loneliness comes from. I miss me. Now that my daughter is older, I want us both to realize that I’m more than just the one who gets her to brush her teeth, kisses her owies when she’s sad and applauds her when she learns something new. I’m the one who mourns with others, who likes to sometimes act like a child instead of an adult, who wants to fight for things that help more than just our family — a woman we both could be proud of. A woman who still dreams.
Interested in more parenting posts? Click HERE. Or check out the posts below!
Want one? Then complete the crossword puzzle below, and email your answers to email@example.com by Sunday, January 31, 8 pm PST and you could be one of three (3) lucky fans who will win an advance copy of our upcoming release!
So you think you know Fleetwood Mac? Show us.
Across 2. Original bassist and founding member
3. The city the band was founded in
4. Christine McVie’s maiden name
5. Animal that appeared as their logo
Down 1. Name of alt-rock band that covered Fleetwood Mac’s hit “Landslide”
2. Where Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham were living before they joined the band
3. Number of people who have been in the band
4. The name of the studio in which Fleetwood Mac recorded in 1969
5. Number of people in current lineup
Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, two of Fleetwood Mac’s finest, collaborated long before they hit it big in the legendary band. Actually, you could say the pair seemed to be musical soulmates.
Nicks and Buckingham first met in the mid-sixties while attending Menlo Atherton High School in Palo Alto, California: she was a senior; he, a junior. The two both ended up at a “Young Life” meeting which, as Nicks explained, was a gathering that “simply got you out of the house on a Wednesday night.”
Buckingham with guitar in tow, began strumming “California Dreamin’” by the Mamas and the Papas and Nicks joined right in singing harmonies alongside him.
The two didn’t see each other again until two years later when Buckingham, in search of a vocalist for his band Fritz, called Nicks up to ask if she might be interested in joining. Her answer: “Why not?”
They were in the band together for three and a half years, opening for acts like Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, but after a record deal failed to come into fruition, the band split in 1971 — though Nicks and Buckingham would far from part ways. Their relationship inevitably evolved from a purely musical partnership to a romantic one.
The duo moved south from the Bay area to Los Angeles to continue their pursuit of music careers. Polydor Records released the couple’s 1973 effort Buckingham Nicks (which was recorded at Sound City Studios), but lack of promotion saw the album receive minimal success. To keep them afloat, Nicks took odd jobs here and there including waitressing at Clementine’s in Beverly Hills for $1.50 an hour while Buckingham stayed home mastering his guitar skills and recording. The pair would write and record songs through the night and then start over again the next day.
By late ‘74, however, the routine was weighing on the couple. Tired of living penniless and barely getting by, tensions grew between the couple and Nicks even considered moving to her parents’ and going back to college.
But as luck would have it, Mick Fleetwood, drummer and namesake of British rock band Fleetwood Mac, was on the prowl for a lead guitarist when he stumbled upon a recording of “Frozen Love” off of Buckingham Nick at Sound City. Fleetwood was enamored by Buckingham’s style and skill.
On New Year’s Eve of 1974, Fleetwood called up Buckingham inviting him to join Fleetwood Mac as the group’s lead guitarist. He agreed, but only on the condition that his girlfriend could join, too. Although the band already had a female vocalist, Christine McVie, Mick was so convinced Buckingham was the only man for the job, he quickly agreed to christen both into Fleetwood Mac.
And thus, dear friends, “The Chain” was forged!
“The Chain” is counting down: 25 days to go until Lullaby Renditions of Fleetwood Mac makes its way into the world!
For a pretty impressive collection of vintage Thermoses and lunch boxes, just take a drive on the I-5, where you can grab some coffee-shop grub surrounded by reminders of your youth at Apricot Restaurant. We strongly recommend the chocolate shake!
We asked our team and here’s a mixed bag of real parent life tips worth listening to — or running from. Really, who wants to admit they listen to their parents? Okay, some hands are going up at Rockabye Baby HQ. We’re good like that.
“It’s the things that you don’t worry about that really blindside you.” And “just decide what you want to do and do it,” which sounds really obvious but is actually kind of genius. — Hannah’s mom
I mostly learned through observation with my parents. They have never given any particular advice other than to contribute to a 401K and save money for the important stuff. My parents are very punctual with everything (bills, mortgage, etc.) and are sometimes so far ahead that they have credits for months on end. I try to model my own financial responsibilities after the way they handle theirs. Also, the common sense stuff like be good to other people and don’t do anything dumb — think of the consequences. — Jennifer’s parents
Always think outside the box. — Scott’s parents
I was a pretty homely lookin’ teen growing up and I got mocked a lot for my looks/body shape. I remember my mom rubbing my back one night while I was facedown on my bed, upset about something that had happened at a party (people were being laughing about my big ass). She just said, “One day all of these *ssholes will see what I see. And one day you’ll see it too.”
Sure enough, a couple years ago, when we were at a bar in my hometown, the main dude shouting his distaste for my large butt came up to me with his tail between his legs and just said, “I’m so sorry for what happened all those years ago. You’re so far out of all of our leagues now.” And blah blah. I told my mom that next morning and she just nodded her head with this smug smile on her face and said. “See, I told ya!” Don’t ever let the bastards get you down. — Ms. Rockabye
Dream big, have a kind & open heart, it’s okay to be weird, and never give up! — Rockabye Grrl’s parents
Mark your calendars! Lullaby Renditions of Fleetwood Macarrives February 10. Just in time for their 2015 leg of the “On With the Show” tour.
Thank you to everyone who participating in our “Guess Who We’re Rockabye’ing Next” contest and congratulations to our 5 winners: Isaac K., Justine G., Erika J., Tommy T., and Sara H.
And to kick off our first release of the year, we’re doing something special: a special fans’ choice Fleetwood Mac–inspired lullaby video. All we need to know is . . .
Below is the track list. Vote on your favorite Fleetwood Mac song this week to determine which song will win our fan-voted favorite song poll , and the song with the most votes will get its own video starring our Rockabye Baby bear.
Cast your vote by Tuesday, January 20 at 12 pm PST. The song with the most votes will be featured in a Rockabye Baby animated video that we’ll debut in the coming weeks! Make sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest to see the premiere of our animated video!
There are winners, and there are losers . . . in Hollywood!
We mean, during awards season, which kicks off with the Golden Globes. Who are you rooting for to win? We’re not making any predictions, but we can predict what we think would happen if we sent our bear to cover the event.
See more bear adventures HERE. Or see the videos below!
Parents, do you dream of peaceful nights without baby's cries? Well, the rumours are true: Lullaby Renditions of Fleetwood Mac will soothe those woeful tears. Don't stop spinning these gentle instrumentals - they'll make sleeping fun.