As a new mommy, I find myself with less time than ever to get done the things I used to take for granted. Here are a few things I’ve done (or resorted to, as the case may be):
Eating yogurt while showering.
Using the restroom with a sleeping baby on my shoulder. This requires keeping one hand on baby the entire time while utilizing the other to get pants up and down, wipe, get back up, then wash one hand WITH one hand, switching hands to keep baby steadied on shoulder and wash other hand. DO NOT FLUSH so as not to wake baby.
Doing all computer interactions on iphone. This includes emailing, facebooking, looking things up on internet search engines like “why won’t my baby nap in her crib,” etc.
While feeding my daughter with a bottle, using my mouth as a suction cup on the bottom of the bottle to keep it in place while using one hand to open a door or turn on the dish washer, and so on.
Eating only foods that require one hand such as sandwiches, hot dogs, hamburgers, hot pockets, etc. Note: take care to sweep any crumbs from said foods off of baby.
I think it was the comedienne Rita Rudner who said “I need to have a baby soon before all of the names I’d choose remind me of people I hate.”
When my husband Darrin and I found out we were expecting, we’d spend hours going through baby names trying to find one in each sex we could agree on.
“Sally?” my husband said.
“Mmmm. I don’t think so.” It reminded me of an ex-boyfriend’s mom whose name was Sally.
“I’d like Jon. After my dad. But I have two ex-boyfriends named John, so that’s too weird.”
Then there was the misfortune that could befall our child if the name weren’t a good pairing with our last name which is Butters.
“I like Harrison.”
“Sure, but Harry Butters?”
“There could also be no Marjorie or Milton.”
“Benjamin is nice.”
“Nope. The curious case of Benjamin Butters?”
It went on like this for months.
It’s funny too how people have such strong opinions about YOUR baby’s name. I told someone at work early on one of the names we were considering, and she sneered and strongly encouraged me to keep thinking. Then of course, she offered me some suggestions of names she liked a lot better.
Darrin and I decided that we would keep the name to ourselves until our child was born. That would make it a like-it-or-love-it presentation of our actual baby, who’s name would at that point permanent and non-negotiable.
At work one day a co-worker with whom I wasn’t particularly close came to chat me up on the glory of pregnancy. We compared stories for a while when the conversation went toward the name.
“So, have you picked out a name?”
“Yes, but we’re not going to tell anyone until she’s born.”
“WHAT? Come on, just tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Well, no. And it’s not really about that. It’s just that we found that people had some pretty strong opinions about baby names.”
“Really? Well, seriously, just tell me. Come onnnn.”
“Sorry, but nope.”
She thought for a minute then seemed to accept my answer. Then she added
“Well, as long as it’s not Madison, then I won’t hate it.”
My point exactly.
When we announced our daughter’s birth, and revealed her name as Julia Grace Butters, the reception was warm. We got many, many compliments on the name we’d chosen. Now, I agree, it is classic and beautiful; but does every person who claimed to love the name we chose really love it? Does it matter? No, it really doesn’t. We love it, and that was the point all along.
We loved The Electric Company when we were kids, because of all the cool characters: Letterman, Jennifer of the Jungle, The Slow Reader, and the recurring bits that made us feel in on a very hip joke. What we didn’t realize when we were little was that some of the songs were written by satirist Tom Lehrer. Lehrer, the legendary parodist, piano player, mathematician and musical theater professor (wow, that’s well rounded!), went to college with The Electric Company’s musical director, and so ended up writing and performing ten songs for the show.
Here are some of our favorites:
L-Y illustrates how adverbs work, literal-ly!
Silent E is about the transformational powers of the alphabet’s quietest letter.
Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno (no wonder we loved this show) sing about all kinds of soup and ice cream.
Rockabye Baby! is happy to introduce our newest guest blogger, Lorelei Hill Butters, seen here with her baby Julia. Go here to read more about her. She’ll be posting about her adventures in motherhood. Her first article is below, so please give her a warm welcome!
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Our little girl, Julia Grace came early. Five weeks early, and to say we were surprised is an understatement. I hadn’t packed a bag, we hadn’t put together her pack ‘n play (we planned to use the “bassinet” portion for sleeping), and her nursery was still half an office. Still, our little life changer came home from the hospital with us anyway and we had to adjust.
Born at just 5lbs 9oz, she was way too small to float around in the center of that giant pack ‘n play bassinet insert so the first few nights she slept on its attached changing station. This wasn’t going to work for both safety reasons (it’s clearly marked NEVER to leave a baby unattended on the changing table), and because I could not adequately monitor her breathing with her perched above the level of our bed. Yes, I am one of “those” moms who felt the need to check her baby’s breathing every few minutes. My husband even gave me a mini flashlight so that I didn’t have to turn on the overhead light when the urge hit me.
Those early days blended into a blur of changing, feeding, burping, worrying, staring, not sleeping, watching her sleep, changing, feeding, burping, etc., etc.
My sister Sabrina, a mother of a 6 year-old girl and a 4 year-old boy, would come over to help out a lot. While she was over she’d talk and make crazy faces and sounds for Julia, which I thought was silly, since Julia was still what my husband called in her “larval stage.” She didn’t seem to hear or see us, especially over her frantic wails for whatever it was she needed, and my voice never seemed to calm her, so I wasn’t using it. I just gave her whatever it was she was after and waited for her next cue.
Then I read in one of my baby books that it’s never too early to talk to your baby, in fact they said it was pretty much a must right out of the gate. Oh man. Had I been stunting my child’s development by not talking to her for these many weeks? Did I interfere with our bonding process by exercising my right to remain silent? I panicked. I felt like a failure.
I tried. Really, I tried. I would do another thing the books said to do, which was to just run a narrative of whatever you were doing or had done that day, but in a lilty, sing-song voice. I recited the grocery list, described the process of changing her diaper as it happened, and I told her about her crazy birth (beginning with her literally clawing her way through my bag of waters as Adam Lambert screeched out “Born to be Wild” during movie night on American Idol).
It felt so false and so “put on.” I really did not enjoy doing it, and felt ridiculous the way someone who has no desire or talent for it might feel taking a performance art class. Julia had no reaction, no connection, and after many days of this, I again felt like a failure and collapsed into the kind of woeful tears only another hormonal mommy can understand. Still, I woke the next morning, and while changing her diaper forced myself to do it again.
I began talking to her when the most miraculous thing happened. Julia smiled. She smiled! I talked more and she smiled more. I was IN! I’d broken through! I’d cracked the code!
…or, maybe babies just start smiling at a certain age and we’d hit it. No matter. Her smiling had broken my wall of self consciousness. From that moment on I now feel free to make silly noises, ridiculous faces, sing made up songs full of nonsense words and she eats it up. Yes, she does. She eats it up! She eats it, weets it, peets it up up up uppy up! My widdle bitty baby waby eats it UP!
In honor of the release of Here Comes Science, the new kid’s album and animated DVD from They Might Be Giants which comes out September 1, here is a classic video from one of our favorites, the Grammy-winner Here Come the 123s.
John and John present the days of the week, with Never Go To Work:
Ever wonder why babies sleep so much, or why your toddler seems to show empathy? Do educational toys work? What do TV and DVD do for early childhood development? How do babies learn so much so fast?
A new book by child psychologist Alison Gopnik called The Philisophical Baby: What Children’s Minds Tell Us About Truth, Love, and the Meaning of Life illuminates some of the mysterious workings of the baby brain. Gopnik argues that with all the new information babies are constantly processing, they are more conscious than adults.
An interview with Gopnik on Time.com sheds light on some of these fascinating questions. Says Gopnik:
“One takeaway is that the billion-dollar industry of quote-unquote educational toys that are supposed to make your baby smarter is a boondoggle. There’s no evidence that any of those things make a difference. Children are learning the way that other people’s minds work, which is much more important to learn than even letters and numbers. I’m afraid the parenting advice to come out of developmental psychology is very boring: pay attention to your kids and love them.”
In our ongoing series, we try to recommend baby shower gifts that moms and dads will truly need (or love). Who wants more superfluous stuff cluttering up their house? Today’s baby shower gift idea is definitely something every new parent will be thrilled to have:
A clean house.
After a baby is born, a home can be thrown into chaos. New parents have no time, no sleep, an empty fridge, and far too many visitors. Some of the guests will help cook and clean, but most are just stopping by for a quick visit to ooh and ahh at the bundle of joy. Cleaning will be the last thing the new family has time for.
We propose to either offer your own services for a day of cleaning – or — give a gift certificate for a great housekeeper. Merry Maids offers gift cards and has locations nationwide. Check your local listings for a cleaning service near you. Make sure to do an internet search for reviews from other customers to avoid disreputable companies.
We’re pretty sure you will win the new family’s eternal gratitude with this one.
We love this story from the BBC, which lists ten difficult questions you might hear from your kids one day, as well as some great responses from parents and experts alike.
Every mom or dad knows your children will ask things you just don’t know how to answer. Like how much does the sky weigh, or what is time? How ’bout this one: Why did God let my kitten die? Got a good anwer for that? This article gives some thoughtful help to parents who may not have been paying attention in science or philosophy class (or who may not remember the answer they got when they asked the same question of their parents!)
Have you ever been stumped by your little ones? Let us know in the comments how you handled it. You may just help another mom or dad out!
If you’re like us, you’re inconsolable over the cancelled Aerosmith tour, and sending lots of good wishes for a speedy recovery to Steven Tyler. We were planning to see them on Friday, but we’ll be first in line when the bad boys from Boston come back to Los Angeles.
We hope this sneak peek of our lullaby rendition of Dude (Looks Like a Lady) helps cheer you up. Let us know what you think!
Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Aerosmithcomes out September 15 and in case you haven’t heard the news, Steven Tyler wrote the liner notes. Says the legendary frontman, “In my mind, this is a perfect way to introduce a new generation to my music. I have a grandson who I can’t wait to play these for.”
Get well soon, Mr. Tyler!
P.S. Can’t get enough baby Aerosmith? Check out this sneak peek of Dream On.
The UK’s Daily Mail Online has a really cool article featuring some of the many, many covers inspired by The Beatles’ legendary Abbey Road LP — from Snoopy to Sesame Street, to the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Kanye West, to the unfortunately named Screaming Afterbirth (yikes!). What are your favorites?
In our ongoing series, we try to recommend baby shower gifts that moms and dads will truly need (or love). Who wants more superfluous stuff cluttering up their house? Today’s baby shower gift idea is definitely something every new parent will be thrilled to have:
