A Baby's Guide to Tipping

I've known people with some questionable tipping practices. There's my dad, for instance, who used to think servers should only get $1 for every person at the table. (Where he came from, $1 went a long way.) Glad I never served him. Then there was my first boyfriend, a true punk, who liked to put the tip on the table when we first sat down at a restaurant. "I do that so they see what they could get," he said. "And then I would take money away from the pile as the service got bad." That was a 19-year-old talking, by the way. And, yeah, I left him. I consider myself a pretty generous tipper. Usually 20 percent for attentive service, because I know how hard servers work-I've been one. But now, as a mom, the reasons I tip well have definitely changed. It's not just about being friendly to me and getting my order straight. It's all about my Little D. My baby girl is my everything, and, frankly, if I'm with her at your restaurant, you'd better treat her as a guest as well, or else! I'm not saying every server, hostess or manager has to roll out the red carpet for Little D or shower her/me with compliments over how cute she is, but really...she's there- acknowledge her. Are you all with me on this? On behalf of my very opinionated and sensitive daughter (I'm projecting, I know), here's (what I think) are her list of dos and don'ts on getting the best tip. Top 5 Ways to Get the Best Tip from My Parents By Little D

1. DO greet me. It's that simple. Smile, say "Hi," or something. Don't make me invisible. Happy baby equals happy parents equals great tip for you.
2. DON'T assume I want to be placed at a corner or far-off table. To quote a line from Dirty Dancing, "No one puts baby in the corner."
3. DO offer me a seat. Even if I cruise in with a stroller, or can barely hold my head up, it's nice to be asked. On the flip side, it's great for you to offer to take a seat away so I can park my ride.
4. DO keep your bathrooms tidy. I realize I poo and pee in my pants, but I don't lie in it. A clean counter space/changing station is always appreciated!
5. DON'T roll your eyes, or make a face, if I speak up, spit up, or decide it's a good time to wail. Dude, I'm a baby.

Do you have a "tip"-ha, ha-my baby should add to her list? Tell us below. Sincerely D's, First-Time Mommy P.S. Here's a great tip from me: A great way to keep your baby at ease when you're looking to enjoy a meal at home is by playing one of these great Rockabye releases. Little D-tested, First-Time Mommy-approved!