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Article: Separation Anxiety: Surviving Time Away From Baby

Separation Anxiety: Surviving Time Away From Baby

As you read this, I'm trying to survive the longest stretch of time away from my daughter since she was born exactly 8 weeks ago. Honestly, I used to make fun of my friends who could barely go 15 minutes on a night off from their baby or young children, without calling home to check in on them. Then I became one of those parents. I remember the first time I left my daughter, Little D, at home with my mom when she was just a couple weeks old, so my husband and I could go out to dinner with friends for a breather and to knock us out of our sleep-deprived zombie state. Just minutes after we had finished ordering, I felt my breasts starting to tingle (aka filling up with milk). I promptly turned to my husband and friends and, in a very dramatic fashion, announced, "D must need me right now." I think I might have even clutched my bosom as I said that. I thought my daughter and I were so connected that she was calling out to me through my breasts. It was her way of saying, "Mommy, come home." But I didn't rush home right away. I remembered what she had just put me through. Plus, our friends drove (I didn't want to be rude). I did, however, call my mom to confirm what I was so sure my breasts were communicating. "Mom, is D okay? Does she miss me? She must be hungry. I could feel it." "She fell asleep after you left, dear," said my mom. "Oh." Maybe D wanted her parents to leave so she could get some sleep. That was during my maternity leave, when D had access to me, and my tingling breasts, pretty much 24/7. Now I must return to work, sadly. I've come to enjoy life with this little person so much that when D's asleep for longer than 3 hours, I wake her up because I want to play. Today I'm leaving her in the care of my mom, from whom I've demanded hourly picture message updates. I don't know how I will survive a whole workday away from my baby. Wish me luck! Or should I be wishing my mom or D luck? When I start to "fill up" at work today, I'll be thinking of D and wondering if she realizes how much time has passed since she's seen or heard Mommy. If she does, I hope she will forgive me.

3 comments

That’s understandable with new Moms. Like that photo of baby calling!
At least your Mom is babysitting; wait till you have to leave her in daycare.

Mom

Allie, if not for pic/text messaging updates, I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. My husband didn’t seem phased at all when we leave our daughter behind, but maybe he just pretends to be tough.

Teena

I’ll admit, it was my husband and I’s first night out after our baby boy was born and I barely made it out the driveway without making him turn around. I was like, “This is a mistake, Mark!!” Totally irrational and overemotional but I was NOT ready for it. So word to newcomers – don’t rush yourself.

Allie

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