GIVEAWAY: Rockabye Etiquette: Things You Should Never Say to Non-Parents
Happy Monday, everyone!
Aaack, who are we trying to fool, Mondays can be the pits. But worry not for we have a quick remedy: a giveaway!
Now that we’re all clear on the things you shouldn’t say to new parents, let’s turn the tables on our Rockabye Baby Etiquette and discuss the things you should never say to non-parents. I’ll start with my list:
1. “Pumping is tricky, you see you’ve gotta . . .” No. Noooo, no, no. Totally cool with breastfeeding, just don’t need to know the mechanics right now 2. “Can you hold this?” (When someone hands you the dirty diaper they just took off their child)Nope, I really can’t. 3. “Do you mind if I bring the baby?” – Sure! Hold on, you do know we’re going to a hot yoga class, right. 4. “Getting peed on isn’t that bad . . . “ Wait,what? 5. “Can you hold him/her for a minute?” – Yes, for a minute, maybe even twenty minutes, but not for an hour and half while you watch Breaking Bad.
31 comments
Oh, you have an ear infection? Would you like me to squirt some breastmilk in there? It’ll heal it right up, it’s liquid gold you know!
Andrea M
You should have a baby
Chrissy
Your biological clock is ticking.
Anne
So… When are you having a baby!?!?
Daniela Morgan
Anything along the lines of, “You’ll never know true happiness until you have kids.”
Melissa Nicnick
You’re so lucky – you get to sleep.
Heather R
Anything involving the word “placenta.”
Ashley Kemp
Poop on the fingers? Bout like mud.
paul jeffers
You don’t know the value of a “quickie” until you have kids.
Stevie
Any sentence that includes the word LOCHIA, a description of lochia, or even a vague reference which may lead to non-parent googling ‘lochia’…
Donna
Poop stories in general. Parent’s understand but non parents usually get disgusted.
Becky
The good ol “why don’t you have kids yet” is a good one, but nothing makes a non parent scream in terror more than starting conversations with “during labour, I ripped so much I required x stitches”
Candace McCabe
“hey, can you hold him for a moment”, while already handing over your drooling baby with the very obviously full diaper… .
dee
So why don’t you have kids? Is something wrong with one of you?
Ashley
When are you having kids?
Rhiannon
“Oh, so you were up all morning hugging the porcelain throne after a long night of drinking and partying? Yeah, I didn’t sleep much either, my sick baby decided to use me as the throne last night. Oh, the projectile vomit and diarrhea was everywhere. I’ve been so busy trying to nurse her back to health, I almost forgot to change my shirt! Hope you start feeling better soon!” ;)
Diana Neal
The ever popular loss of sex speech. That’s very encouraging.
alex p
You just HAVE to see the 128 photos I took of our little prince last night!!
Traci
Never talk to them about your child’s tummy problems!
renea pike
“Is your party child friendly?”
Deborah
Do you want my ____ for when you have kids?
Insert: Birthing Pool, Doula’s number, Hyptno Birthing Books, Placenta Artist’s number, Breast Pump, Co-sleeper, Baby Carrier, Baby Food Blender.
Chiara
“When my baby nurses, she likes to twiddle the spare nipple.”
Jenna
Can you change his diaper for me? Make sure you get underneath his balls really well.
Jerica M
Just wait until you have kids of your own….
Josie
“Life just isn’t worth living unless you have kids.”
Seriously, someone said it to me when I was still a DINK!! Grr…
Adelina
well you know until you have kids of your own, you don’t really get to have an opinion on education/parenting/kids. This is when I usually release the hounds
Vinny Bulloch
You see? Lemon juice can clean anything off the walls, i would know! I’ve used it to clean poop off them!
Allen
Can I have your Rockabye Baby collection? As you don’t have kids…
Wenke
“You just don’t get it…you’ll see”. Both insulting, true and condescending all at once!
Joe
“Please excuse my little monsters, they just need to burn off some energy…” (While in a store like Barnes and Noble….)
Kim B
Don’t you like kids?
Pam R.
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