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Article: Big Love

big love

Big Love

I have a lot of empathy for polygamists, and not just the ones on the HBO show. Having my attention constantly split between two kids-a toddler and a baby-makes me sympathetic to those with multiple mates. It can't be easy, having to share your affection between occasionally warring parties, neither of whom would be appeased by, say, Elmo on the iPad. Dealing with jealousy among the under-three sect is one thing; dealing with those old enough to sign divorce papers is another. Now that the baby is fully mobile, eating like a wild goat, and refusing to sleep, she takes up a lot more time and space than she used to and that is driving my toddler up the wall. "I'm not ready for her!" she'll say first thing in the morning when my husband appears with the smiling baby. It's been awhile since she asked to get rid of her sister, but once again the baby has worn out her welcome. "Let's give her to Max," she said the other day, attempting to unload her burden on a friend. "Okay," I agreed, "Let's pack her bag." Thankfully, as we were gathering diapers and wipes, she changed her mind. Now that I have two kids, I get how you can love more than one person without diluting or dulling the intensity of your feelings for either. Being a second child myself, I always suspected the firstborn got the main dibs on parental love and the rest of us worked with whatever was left. But even though younger siblings get the shaft in terms of time alone with parents, photo ops and stuff (secondhand clothes, toys, and yes, even food-when the toddler won't eat it, I often see if the baby will), there's no dialing down on the level of love. In fact, there are moments when I look at my babies and the love level is so intense I feel utterly shattered by it-like my heart is breaking into thousands of sharp, spiny pieces-even though one child might be riding a tricycle into my ankles and the other attempting to ingest dog poop in the park. That's big love; it's powerful stuff. A friend of mine asked me if I felt like my heart exploded when I first met my child and really, I feel as if it's never stopped exploding since that day, like these incessant eruptions are just something you live with along with sleep deprivation and dirty shirts. But big love never becomes old hat. Still, the next time we decide to expand ours, no children need apply. I'll take another husband, wife, whatever...I don't care; they just have to be grownups willing to chase children, cook dinner and clean up. Just 2 days left to take advantage of our very big, very loving Valentine's treat to you! Shop all items on Rockabye Baby's site now through February 14 and receive free domestic shipping on your order!  

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