Question of the Day: When Is It Okay to Raise Your Voice?

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I was raised in a home where raising our voices (aka screaming at each other) was the norm, but not in an abusive way! It’s how we communicated. Still do. (We all have selective hearing.) For those who come from less vocal homes (aka, my husband and my sister's husband, anyone not in our immediate family, actually), our volume level could probably rattle you, but for us, it’s normal. We do love each other a lot, and even when we do express such a sentiment, we say it loudly. As my dad says, "I'm not screaming, this is the way I talk." (File that one under "Sh*t My Dad Says." ) So I've been doing my best to not pass this on to my toddler, but it appears she's fitting right in with us. Because especially when you're the youngest kid at preschool, it seems you have to scream to be heard, in her book. But as an adult speaking to a child, whether a parent or not, when is it okay to raise your voice? My husband isn’t dramatic and is fairly quiet, cool and calm. This carries over to how he talks to our daughter. He rarely raises his voice to her or anyone, except if she is putting herself in danger. Sounds reasonable, right? But it's pretty tough to keep your cool about just the big things when you're sleep deprived, trying to multitask, etc. And I'm referring to my kid here. So I've employed the counting technique to help the both of us chill out versus resorting to a time out. We hold hands and just count to 20 when we're losing it or about to.

When do you think it is okay to raise your voice?

And what cool-down techniques do you have when someone big or small raises theirs?

I'd love to hear from you. And you might want to participate in these conversations as well.




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