The Worst Halloween Costumes (My Mom Gave My Baby)
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The polite thing to do when someone gives you a present would be to accept it all smiles and shut up. In my family, that's hard to do sometimes. We have this problem with censoring ourselves, whether we're being really sweet or incredibly not sweet. So what's this spiel all about? Well, I'm about to diss a bunch of generous gifts. Call me ungrateful and you'd be right in this case. You see, my mom showers my daughter with endless presents-some good, some awesome, some questionable (something ages 2 & up for a 4-month-old?). Hence, I shouldn't be surprised that her recent parade of Halloween costumes for my Little D would be anything but odd. #4: The Bear Ears Essentially it's a headband with fuzzy polka-dot ears on it, and it is the latest Halloween gift my mom's dropped off at our house. News flash: "They're monkey ears," she just told me. She won them at a baby shower. Note: free. "Um, thanks?" was my initial response. What do I do with a pair of ears? Then this morning, I noticed they matched the ears of an embroidered elephant face on one of D's tops. So I put the top on Little D and the headband and suddenly the bear/monkey ears became elephant ears and, ta-da, I have an elephant toddler hybrid. Wow. #3 The Tourist Pirate Bib On a recent trip to Chicago, my mom hit up all the tourist shops on the water and brought baby back a pirate bib. It is like one of those bikini or tuxedo shirts that is just the illustration of the outfit, but this one's of a mini pirate's body from the neck down, with a cutlass in one hand and a parrot in the other, and one foot propped up on a chest of gold. Arr! To give it a lass's touch, there are a few pink flowers around the collar. And out of nowhere, in the bottom left-hand corner of the bib, it says, "Chicago." The bib itself is about as tall as my baby. And it didn't come with a patch. Blimey. Coincidentally, my mom gave this to D just days before Talk Like a Pirate Day. #2 The Dalmatian "Woof" Two-Piece For a woman who gets upset if I dress my baby in anything but pink, I was really surprised by mom's purchase of a boy's Dalmatian outfit: a black-and-white spotted hoodie with black ears and matching furry spotted pants with doggie head feet. Is this what I always dreamed my baby girl would wear on her first Halloween? No. Should I applaud my mom for being original and not bringing a princess dress over? Yes. And, truth be told, the sight of the spotted pants had D yelping for joy. #1 The Hamburger Hat Top worst Halloween costume my mom gave D is hands-down the hamburger hat. (My husband claims it's a cheeseburger, but that starts with a "ch" and is not as fun as saying "hamburger hat.") We're talking a full-on fabric hamburger, topped with lettuce, onions, tomatoes and pickles in a sesame-seed bun. Unfortunately, my mom lost a sesame seed in our house the first day she put it on D and was really bummed over the loss. (I think my kitten ate it.) A baby in an adult-size hamburger hat... it could've been worse. My mom carried D around with the hat on, and in front of the mirror, my mom sighed and said to D, (without knowing I was listening) "I should've gotten the hot dog hat, too, for me to wear." Now, I wish she had. I'm wearing the hamburger now, and I can't help but smile. I'm learning more and more as a new mother that some of the things you never thought you'd find joy in, you suddenly do. And maybe a hamburger wearing bear/monkey/elephant ears, a pirate's body and Dalmatian leggings with doggy head feet is exactly what baby's first Halloween is all about. Are you the kind of person who can't decide on just one thing? Then don't. Rockabye has collections and bundles to give you a helping of many great lullaby renditions.
My husband bought our then 5 month old son a taco costume last Halloween… I feel your pain, haha.
Liza, your son’s costume sounds even more delicious than my daughter’s right now. It’s lunchtime!
That’s what grandmas are for!