How to Look Like You Have Your Sh*t Together

You know what is important to realize and is likely to make you feel a whole lot better about life? No one really has his or her sh*t together. (Especially parents with newborns.) Seriously. You might think your friends or colleagues do, but they don’t. It’s just not possible to balance killer careers, happy personal lives, fulfilling philanthropic endeavors, and creative projects without the dishes piling up in the sink or occasionally being forced to blow your nose on an old T-shirt because no one remembered to buy Kleenex. Got your taxes paid? Your eyebrows waxed? Your five-year plan in place? Well, good for you, but I guarantee, there will come a time when you run out of Kleenex too. So stop losing your mind trying to do it all and do a little less. Here are some time-saving tips to help you look like you’ve got your sh*t together, even though we know you don’t (we’ll keep that a secret, okay?).

Dry Shampoo: This stuff is a game changer; you can go days without showering or bathing, provided you keep from getting the rest of you too smelly. Plus, as my hairdresser has always said, dirty hair is good hair (it’s easier to style, has more volume, looks sexy). With dry shampoo, you can get the good dirt going without the grime and slime and also save shower time. Big Bling: The key to looking better than you feel or dressing up a T-shirt and jeans is to accessorize. I like big bling—oversize necklaces (these are called “statement pieces” nowadays), sparkling earrings, and cocktail rings. No time for makeup or styling your hair, throw on some big bling and people won’t notice because they are too distracted by all that dazzle. For guys, throw on a scarf or a hat. Done. Uniforms: I say Mao-style jumpsuits for everyone. We would save so much time and I would never again have to pick all my clothes up off the floor after trying to find the perfect outfit. Streamline your closet, my friends, and develop your own personal uniform. I am currently utilizing a system of three pairs of jeans (grey, black, dark blue) and three alternating shirt/sweater combos. While I haven’t gone so far as to embroider the days of the week on my underwear (yet), I am loving what systematizing my wardrobe has done: ensures I don’t go out of the house looking too crazy and I can get ready fast. Slow Cookers: Okay, we’d all love to leisurely shop at the farmer’s market and then cook a fresh, healthy meal. But more often the fridge is empty, I’m starving, and the In and Out drive-thru is calling. It seems so Betty Crocker of me to advocate this but I’m telling you a slow cooker can save your life once you get a few healthy recipes down you just throw the ingredients in before work and come home to something healthy and home-cooked—it’s sure to impress. Manners: Like my mama always says, good manners go far. You can pretty much get away with anything if you are polite about it: Behind on a bill? Try being super nice on the phone and see if they can’t waive that late fee. Need to merge into the next lane? Wave and smile instead of plowing through and, surprise, road rage denied. You can look like something the cat threw up but if you wait patiently in line while I fish my money out of my pocketbook, I’ll think to myself, wow, that person behind me buying Kleenex has really got his or her sh*t together. For more incredibly valuable advice you absolutely couldn’t live without, we’re her for you. Just take a look.

 

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